I guess you learn something new everyday!

As Michaela has gotten older I have learned a few things about her. She is a lot like me. A lot more than even I expected her to be. She is extremely independent and wants to understand whats going on. "Because I said so" isn't a good enough reason to make her do something. She wants it to make sense in her head, too.

Her and I had been butting heads for weeks. I would punish and she would react negatively. I wondered if she was looking for attention even if it was negative since I was babysitting and three days a week much of my time is devoted to someone else's little girl. I couldn't understand why she was fighting me on the littlest things and why she was reverting back to an almost toddler-like reaction to things. She would occasionally lay on the floor and cry over things that she felt were unfair. It seemed so out of the norm for her as well as most other girls her age. I also realize that there are other big changes going on in our home. One of those big changes is, of course, our niece moving out onto her own. So I thought that maybe she just wasn't able to verbalize her feelings.

I decided one night to just pray. I just prayed that the Lord would show me how to parent her in a positive way. I asked that he show me how to react to her and how to speak to her. I wanted to know that I was doing the right thing by her and not somehow leaving a negative impact on her life. That was when He showed me what to do. I didn't realize it at the time, but sometime between when I said that prayer and the next day, He had opened up my eyes.

The next day we were set to begin on a new battle. She wasn't doing what I was asking her without a fight and it was like someone was speaking to me telling me to just explain myself to her. It was so clear in my mind. I needed to calmly call her over to me, explain what I wanted done and why it needed to be done. To my surprise......no argument! She wasn't thrilled about folding the laundry, but she did it. And to top it off, about thirty seconds after she started folding, she was totally over the irritation she had over it. She was smiling and doing the work without question or argument. I was amazed!

I know to some mothers, getting their kids to do chores without complaint might be simple. That is NOT the case here. I was constantly arguing and getting upset over their reactions. It was a battle more times than not to get them to do something that they felt was an inconvenience to them. I pray that most mothers don't have to go through this, but I know that I am asking waaayyy too much for that to happen.

So, for the last week, when I have needed Michaela for something, or want her to explain something to me, I have just calmly spoken to her without a raised voice, explained my situation and our results have been phenomenal! I have been waiting for this maturity for a long time and I realized that I needed to look at myself first. I needed to realize that I had to change my attitude and demeanor before I could EVER ask a seven year old to do so.

I am so thankful to have a heavenly Father who will answer me when it is prayed according to His will. I am in awe of every time He answers my prayers even when I don't deserve them. What an amazing God we serve!

Psalm 17:6
I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer.

D-Day

Tomorrow at 5pm is when we sign the lease. A six month commitment. Wish us luck! Janet is excited as are we!

Isn't it amazing?

I am always in awe when I see how things all come together when you trust that it will all happen according to God's plan and not ours. Many already know that we have had custody of our niece for five years. We have had MANY ups and downs along the way. She was 14 when she came to us and she will be 20 in two months! I can hardly believe that we made it this far! Originally we planned on keeping her with us until graduation and then we decided to keep her in an internship for an extra year. That was over in June. We have been job hunting ever since. Marvin and I have talked a lot about the next step and it just fell in our laps over the weekend! I told Janet to call about an apartment on Friday and we went and looked at it on Saturday and it was just what we were looking for! It is a small studio only about five minutes from our house. We can still be involved while letting her be an adult and on her own. She will be able to get to the grocery store on foot or on bike within just a few minutes and only about 10 minutes to bike to our house. She can still do her laundry here and I will be able to help her with her bills and some of the other things that she will need help with. It is first step of many and I am excited to take it!

Keep us in your prayers.

God is speaking and we are preparing our hearts to listen. I can't talk about it just yet as we are still deciding what to do, but please keep my family in your prayers on this journey God is taking us on.

Thank you and God bless!

Breaking Dawn.....why must you be so far away?

Family....there is a reason you don't get to choose them!

Facebook is a wonderful concept which allows us to keep up on everyone we know and even some people we don't. While this has MANY benefits, I have also discovered that it gives people the ability to hide in the comfort of their own homes all the while complaining about anything and everything without thinking about the consequences. In my personal opinion, people should not go onto social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace and complain about family. It seems to be just tacky and rude.

Don't get me wrong. I have done my fair share of venting about things that annoy me, but I try to be as discreet as possible when posting on my news feed. If someone wants more information it is easy to personally inbox them with the appropriate information.

I am saying all of this to lead up to the fact that Facebook also allows you to see why God doesn't really let you choose your family. They can be irritating, annoying or just plain selfish and their inability to stay out of the spotlight allows all of these wonderful character flaws to show up for the world to see. I am coming to realize that if I had the opportunity to pick my family there would be a select few that I would be swapping out for newer models. But since this is not an option, I am given no choice but to love them despite their flaws.

I beg everyone, please keep your opinions about your family off of facebook so that you don't have to make everyone uncomfortable when the next family gathering takes place! No one else wants to deal with that drama!

Project 365-Day 15