Do unto others....

That is the saying that has been running through my head for the last two days. I find it funny that for the most part, my life is an open book to my friends. I trust people unless given a reason otherwise, I am very honest about my viewpoints on religion, politics and just everyday life. I have even give a select few a glimpse into some very personal parts of my life. I have opened up and laughed and cried with these women. I have shared my struggles and joys. My highs and lows. All that I ask in return is the same courtesy. No, you don't have to share personal things with me if you don't want to and no, you don't have to call me every time you are struggling. But, the least that you can do is be honest. If you have something you want to say, just come out and say it! I don't appreciate when people beat around the bush. I feel like you are belittling my intelligence and disrespecting me in a serious way by not valuing my friendship in the same way that I am valuing yours.

Unfortunately, God has designed me in such a way that I tend to be very easy to read. You can look at my face and 99% of the time you can tell what I am thinking and feeling. No matter how hard I try, I just cannot cover it up! I guess I am just NOT a good liar! That can be good and bad. I know that when I see these people again, they are going to see my hurt and my begruding and sinful nature. I hate that part of me, but it is in my DNA. Personally, I would just love to be honest and up front, but I have seen and heard the denial before and am not in the mood to try and hash out the details with someone who doesn't come to the table ready to be completely honest. If I have done something to you that makes you not trust me, then tell me! If I have hurt your feelings or earned this treatment that I am receiving, then man up and spit it out! I am willing to tell you if you have hurt me. I feel like we are all big girls and we should all be wearing our big girl panties, so we can handle a little bit of disagreement and constructive criticism from time to time.

I am trying to pray for guidance during this time because I really want to handle this situation with the most class and dignity possible. I want to be able to show my girls that I have done the right thing and that even though there will be times of angst and disagreement among friends that it is possible to handle it in a mature way. A way that is pleasing to God. As I continue through my journey of handling conflict in a Godly way, I will be sure to keep you all updated. It seems like this may be one that is going to require a fair amount of reflection and soul-searching.