Wednesday, January 20, 2010

You have a piece of my heart

It seems amazing to me that I have known you for over 10 years now! We have laughed together, cried together, been new places and seen new things. We have experienced the oceans and the mountains while in each other's presence. I miss you terribly! Even though you are still here and I can call you on the phone, reaching you is so difficult. I spend many nights thinking about you and how you are doing. I pray for you and your family. I think about what it will be like when we can be together once again like it was in the old days. We will never go through pregnancies together again and we may never live nearby again, but I am looking forward to the days when we can take our kids to the county fair, or swimming, or to the park. I can't wait to spend long nights watching scary movies or just hanging out. I want to grow old with you just a phone call away.

I know you don't want me to worry about you and that you are trying to keep me from the realities of this life, but I WANT to be there. I want to help you and I want to be your crutch, or crying shoulder, maybe even your chef. Whatever you need. I don't care if you don't feel like talking, or don't want to get out of bed. I don't care if you don't have your makeup on or even if you are still in your PJ's. I want to be able to be there. You will forever have a piece of my heart because you are part of my life. I love you and it will never change!

Get well my friend!

Cute Story!

Today I was in desperate search for a sitter. I called my mom and dad, my sister, my friend, my aunt and finally I called my cousin. Now, normally, I don't ask her to babysit for me because she is also a busy mom and she lives about 45 minutes away from me. Well, today was an exception and I went ahead and called her. Luckily, she was happy to help. So, I got the kiddos all dressed and ready to go and told them that they were going to spend the afternoon with Bonnie. They were excited because they know Bonnie and her boys, but we don't see them a lot.

I got the kids in the car and on the way over, they were asking their usual 1,523 questions. Only, the thing that made these questions funny is that they kept calling poor Bonnie, Barney! Questions like, "Mom, where does Barney live?" and "Mom, how long until we get to Barney's house?" I had to keep correcting them, but it was so funny, I couldn't stop laughing while trying to correct it!

Fortunately, I got it into their little minds that her name was, in fact, Bonnie and they managed to call her by her correct name when they arrived!

Darn those kids!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Interesting Topic

While I was at my MOPS group this morning, we had a wonderful chat during our table discussion time. We talked about friends and forming friendships with other mommies. We also talked about two women being friends where one has entered the world of mommy-dom and the other hasn't. We were able to speak openly and honestly about our roles in our friendships and how we can grow new friendships and many other things. It was nice to see other points of view on this topic!

Well, this brings me to my main point. It seems amazing to me that once you enter the world of mommyhood that you get soooo many judgments from other mommies. These mommies can be friends, acquaintances, co-workers, neighbors....anyone!

Some women believe that you NEED to breastfeed in order to feel a "special bond" with your child. Some also think that you NEED to let your child wean themselves and that parent-led weaning is somehow detrimental to a child's health and overall emotional well-being. Wanna know what I think of this??? I think that it is a bunch of hooey! I had an UNBELIEVABLE bond with my first daughter and I only BF for the first three weeks of her life due to some various issues! I loved her from the moment I laid my eyes on her and every time that I gave her a bottle, I knew that I was giving her nourishment, strength, love, care and my undivided attention. This was different than with my second and third child. I BF my second child until I returned to work and with my third child, I moved mountains to make our BF relationship work. I BF for six months and then I decided that it was time to make the switch. I did NOT feel any closer to my second two children than my first. I loved them all the same and was bonded just the same to all of them. I knew that I would die for any of them and still feel that to this day. Why is this such a big deal from mom to mom? Why do we feel the need to judge other moms by how they decide to feed their child? Now, obviously, BF is Bestfed, but the options are there and ultimately it shouldn't matter what you choose. If a mom wants to breastfeed, I think that everyone around her should give her support and encouragement that she needs and deserves. BUT....if a mom wants to formua feed....I think the same respect should be paid.

Another thing that moms like to compare is circumcised vs intact babies. Now, granted, I have no sons and I never had to make this decision but I am pretty darn sure what our decision would be. Why do moms play the guilt card when it comes to this? Why do they try to play the "it's a violation of your son's human rights" card to moms who choose to circ? Let me just say children have only the basic human rights. They have a right to life, a right to be fed and clothed, loved, never abused, and they have the right to any other basic human need out there. I, as their mother, have the right to make decisions on their behalf that I think is for their own good. Just as mothers of intact babies have the right to decide that they want their children to make that decision when they are older. I don't care if you want your son to wait until he is 18 to make that choice, so why do you care if I make the choice for him? I have the right to decide that circ my son is the safest and most hygenic option for us. I am, in fact, their mother and until they turn 18, have ALL of the decision making power in their life. I will make decisions to the best of my ability and if you don't like it, then you will just have to sit back and shut up. I make my decisions and you make yours. No need to judge and belittle for these choices. They are personal decisions and no one has the right to berate you for them.

Another thing that some moms feel is a super special accomplishment is the ability to push a baby out of your body. Why oh why is this something that moms feel the need to compare with others? I was speaking to a mom that I live near and she really wanted me to know that there is "nothing like having a vaginal birth. It was the most special thing ever and it just doesn't compare to anything else". Well, let me tell you something......all of my babies were by c-section and I feel like just as much of a mom as the next woman. I grew those babies for nine long months just like everyone else. I loved them, and cared for them and spoke to them while they were in the womb. I ended up having a c-section(while not by choice) and now my babies are here. They are happy, healthy, vibrant, beautiful and thriving. I don't feel like I am missing out. I am a mom. This was the result that I wanted. I didn't get pregnant for the labor....I got pregnant for the child. In my personal experience with childbirth(yes, it IS childbirth even if they didn't come out the birth canal)I am soooo lucky that c-sections are available and successful! My first daughter came out butt first. That has high potential for serious problems. With a c-section, she came out PERFECT. And with my last child....I would be dead without a c-section. Yep, you read that right! DEAD! I would have bled to death and my children would be without a mother. Not ALL c-section moms are just the mindless statistic. We don't all just follow the almighty doctor. A lot of us make informed decisions and feel that we are doing the best thing by having that c-section. We go into it knowing what our risks are and what our options are. I am at peace with my decision and no one has the right to make me second guess that. I thank the Lord every single day that he let me continue my life on earth to raise my children. I want to add to this that I am soooo proud of vag birth mamas! I think that they are amazing and wonderful and strong and all around awesome! But at the same time, I don't find it fair for some women to feel like they are part of some special club if they gave birth naturally. And the same goes for c-section mamas. We aren't in a special club all on our own either. Our natural birthing counterparts ended up with the same end result as us. We are all moms! I want all moms to realize that no matter how their babies come into this world that we are all still mothers. The method isn't what is important, it's the end result.

Okay, I think that is enough with my soapbox! This has just weighed heavily on my mind for a while and I needed to get it out there!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Post Baby Body Update #2

Here we are again with another body update. I am going to start by saying that the hubby and I have started a Biggest Loser within our house. We have competed for two weeks now and we are on the first day of week three. Since he is a man and his weight fluctuates much faster than mine, he was able to win the first two weeks' weigh ins. The first week he was 1/10th of a percent higher than me and the second week was just about the same. But, I am determined to win this week! I have lost a total of six pounds in two weeks and I was down another pound today when I weighed in. That puts my current total at 7 pounds in 15 days. This is a slow but steady loss and I have to say that I am proud of myself for sticking it out. I am not big into exercising but I have been running on the treadmill every other day and now I am adding strength training to the opposite days of that.

I have to recommend a great iPhone or iPod Touch app that I have found through a great online friend of mine. It is free and it is called Lose it! You can find out how many calories you can take in in a day according to your weight loss goals per week. You can keep a food journal on it as well as an exercise journal. It is really nice to have handy!

I will be updating again soon, so keep reading and looking for my update titles!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Men are from Mars....

It never fails to amaze me at how different men and women are. We see things in a different light and can be so frustrating! Now, I love my hubby with all of my heart, but the things he does just bother me to no end sometimes! Our latest disagreement is over his ability to respect my requests. Now, I don't think that my requests are that difficult and quite frankly, I usually expect more from my kids than I do from him when it comes to the daily household things.

So, last week, I spent an ENTIRE day working on my kitchen. I cleaned out cupboards, the pantry, and the appliances. I got rid of old dishes and plastic containers and changed the way that my cupboards are set up. It took me a long time since this is the first real down-and-dirty cleaning project I have done in the kitchen since we moved in six years ago. So, after my long and hard day's work, I was so proud to have a sparkling clean kitchen with clean cupboards and more room on my countertops as well. When hubby got home, I pointed out all of the work that it had taken me to accomplish this task and that I really would like for him to FINALLY stop putting all of his crap all over the counters as soon as he walked in the door from work every night. Our kitchen is the first room that you walk into from the back door and so everyone can see the mess that accumulates there and this is where I spend a majority of my time since I am forever feeding hungry gremlins children and a hungry adult child husband. When he comes home from a long day at work he seems to feel the need to throw EVERYTHING right in the middle of the counter. It doesn't matter if I am cooking dinner or not. I get a heaping pile full of keys, papers, wallet, coat, hat, change and whatever else he carried home from that day. So, reluctantly, he said that he would "try" to keep things off of the counter. Well, that effort was short lived! It only took him about two days to go right back to his old routine. I guess that he made one baby step in the right direction since he has now moved his "pile" from the middle of the counter to the side counter, but nonetheless, it is still a huge mess in an otherwise clean kitchen.

So, today, I once again woke up to find his mess leftover from last night and I cleaned it up into a nice tidy little pile while he was away at a side job. But, as soon as he arrived home, he takes his stuff that he brought in from the car and threw it into another big pile instead of noticing that I had cleaned the first pile and then following suit.


He has no problem reminding me that since I am his wife that I should make an effort to meet his needs, but has problems seeing that he is NOT meeting my needs. The house is my domain. I run this place like a well oiled machine and try to have it cleaned and tidy for when he arrives home from a long day at work. I simply ask that he not mess up my work space. I have pointed out to him in the past that I do not go into his place of employment and make piles of stuff all over his desk. I am sure that he would not appreciate this gesture. So, once I put it in perspective for him, why is he having such a difficult time making a simple change for me????

So, I guess that the "counter war" will continue on for a while, but hopefully we can come to a peaceful resolution soon!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Our Christmas Photo session!

My sister and I decided to have a photographer come and take pictures of our families as a gift to our mother and to her mother in law. So, the weekend before Christmas, we all got up early in the morning to have a photo shoot at 9:30am! The pictures turned out wonderful and I am so proud of the kids! Unfortunately, these are not the best photos since I had to take pictures of the pictures, but you will get the idea when you look at them!