Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Life on Planet Mom
I am part of a MOPS group and this year the theme is "Life on Planet Mom" and we have a great book that corresponds with this theme. I was reading some of it yesterday and the chapter that I happened to read was on your relationship with your spouse. I am sure that it was not a coincidence that I read this chapter this week as my husband and I have been having a lot of disagreements lately about the way that a lot of things work in our relationship. He feels that I don't give enough of my time to him. That I spend my time and energy on the kids and the house and myself and I don't have any leftover for him. Well, this is partially true. I DO spend a lot of my energy on the kids and the house and the bills and the laundry and the planning and the appointments and the shopping and the budget and the and the and the......but where he is wrong is the fact that I spend a lot of time on myself. I honestly feel totally drained by the end of the night and there isn't much left for him. I just want to relax and have no one calling my name or needing me. Of course, I am sure that most married women know that at the end of the night is when your husband is calling you and needing you and grabbing at you, this is the last thing you want. The same thing that you dealt with ALL DAY from your kids. Intimacy can seem like just one more chore! Well, I decided, after reading this chapter in my book, that I needed to really try to make time for my husband and I and intentionally leave some of my time for him. So, last night I thought that I was doing this and guess what......it totally backfired! He didn't think that I was doing enough and I didn't think that he was responding to me. It ended in a big fat argument and both of us going to bed upset. Now, we are going to have to have a long drawn out, frustrating discussion tonight and I am not looking forward to it. I already know what is going to be said and what is going to happen. Ugh! I can only pray that God will help both of us to see and understand the other's point of view. I need to just remember that marriage is a long journey and there are going to be bumps in the road.
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2 comments:
So true Jen! I believe that as "moms" we focus on everything else! It's hard when you have little ones. I hope you and your hubby can figure something out and have a great night!
Wow! Does that sound familiar. I think most married couples have that same frustration.
I am also trying to find a better way to balance. I think that all to often I feel I'm never given time to just do what I want. I feel like I need to focus on my kids when they are awake, and then once they are asleep I'm cleaning up messes and trying to focus on what DH wants...and then I get leftover time scraps. A few minutes here or there to ourselves doesn't seem to cut it.
But how to find that balance? It's a difficult, life long struggle.
Rest easy in knowing you aren't searching for the balance alone!
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